Friday, July 3, 2009

Just when you think it can't get any worse

Well alot to report but where to start.....

I guess with my rude awakening...I was camping with the kids, feeling real confident about my abilities and becoming my old "normal". Well one afternoon I bent over in my lawn chair and it fell to the left with my little girl sitting right there. I could do nothing to stop myself but had to catch myself so as not to knock over my daughter. I did so with my forearm and jarred my shoulder; caught my non moving pinkie in her chair and could not get up. Thankfully my boyfriend was there to lift me up. I was hurt. My arm could not move from the jarring... I cried like a baby it was both humiliating and horrible for me. All night if I thought of it my eyes welled up. It was like an eye opener to me.... I guess this is real and my life really has changed.... It's a hard reality to bite off...

Next.... I was in my kitchen tripped on my dog, tried to miss the cat, and my left hand cannot catch me, so my right did..... and broke! Turns out it needed to be reset but they will not for fear of the crps. So I am only in a splint. This they are taking off early so that I can move my hand sooner. Makes sense treatment option wise but sucks that I will have another mishapen hand as a result of the crps. :(

Now with my physio on my left hand....we have called it platoed there is no more for it....The loss of muscle and movement, the pain, they are allmanent.....How does one understand that? I am disabled by a disease that I cannoy feel disabled from....does that make sense to anyone?

Well I only hope and pray I can find new employment in a field I can enjoy, advance in and give my kids the life they deserve.....

1 comment:

  1. Hi,

    If you would allow me a moment of your time I would really appreciate it if you could e-mail me at purpleheartproj@gmail.com to talk about helping raise awarness and assistance for RSD treatment research. Our project is called The Purple Heart Project (www.phpcharity.com) and it's in support of the USC Pain Center in California. Thank you for your time.

    ReplyDelete

 
Dear Diary Blogger Template