Rounding up insanity

I have not written in a bit, I do not even know where to begin this chaos. I have just had yet another test. Nerve conduction test, and yes it hurt me anyway. Should know the results of that in a few days. It really makes no difference anyway it's just ruling out a couple of things we already know, you know the paper trail must match up though.

I have been told by wcb's own doctor likely another six months before I return to work....I don't know what to do. The orthopedic surgeon has referred me to a hand clinic. Wcb is not approving my physio just yet, I can tell you why but it would be a long story. I really should try to keep this blog better...

Now to top off all the medical stuff going on....My history.....I am a single mom to four children. Now only three home. When I first became single I was on the welfare system. Within a year I started working part time and being subsidized. From there I went to a full time job closer to home making more money. I was then offered this last job making a fair bit more yet. I swore my kids would not see a hard luck life and I was doing it. I bought a car on my own as I have been working on my credit with the bank since I first became single....We were doing great talking about a trip this summer I was sooo exited to be able to give my kids the things they need, and some of what they want along with the trips ext that I grew up with. I was a very loved kid too so lets not forget the most essential element! ;) However WCB has decided since my work has said they would have laid me off (not true they are still working) they decided that I would be sitting on my ass on E.I!! WTF I've asked work to call and set the record straight several times with no results. What gives wcb the right to say I'd be doing nothing??? I hold a hairstylist apprenticeship, a w.h.m.i.s, a fall safety, a scissor lift and a genie lift ticket.....working my ass off for the last two years to get where I am but I would be sitting on my ass??? Why?? How stupid are they? That is retarded. Needless to say I am now at this point...ready for this.....making less, yes I said less than I did on welfare! WTF WTF I do not get this. I am being pushed into a corner, I cannot work with one fucking hand, I cannot survive on the money they think I deserve to live off with my children.....what does one do???

Yes yes I know there are avenues to fight this, how much time do you have before you can't live anymore? I know I don't have the time to wait........Life sucks ass I am soooo tired of fighting. When does this end??? I live tortured every day due to this damn hand and arm, I live now punished by a system meant to help....I am alone in all of this and I am damn angry.....I will go through those stupid channels, I will go through whatever brick wall is put up and I will win because I am right. But damn it would be nice to stop beating the brick wall for awhile here and there and just be.....

By the way these damn meds are causing huge weight gain just to top things off, and weight has always been an issue with me I am mortified!!!! Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

F*#k them all! F*#k it all! I wish I could just say that and mean it, but I know the fight must go on, it's a long road and a tough fight on your own though. Hope to pick up some help along the way I tell ya! One day up, One day down...........