Sigh

Well I guess all in all I am surviving. Tonight I have alot of pain, my arm is aching, my hand tingles and burns. Too much work on it today, not sure if the stress I'm under adds anything to this or not. I am to the point where it would be nice to have someone to talk to. I feel like I'm going crazy and no one gets it. I talk and people look at me like I'm nuts so it makes me feel worse. Personally the doctors themselves confuse me most often than not. One says it will be gone in six mths, others say it will not go away. Some say my hand will function some say only mostly.

I know I am lucky and I am very thankful for the things I can still do with this hand. I am thankful that it was discovered and treatment started early. I am thankful for being able to continue to be a mom. There is alot to be thankful for, it's just very hard to bypass the thoughts of all that was, might be again or might not be you know? I try I really do sometimes it's just more than I can bear. I do have faith and that is very helpful I would be lost without it. I repeat "heavenly father would not give me more than I can handle" but sometimes I wonder if he thinks I'm made of brick. The missionaries tell me he knows my limits even better than I......they are right.