Days ahead

Well I know I haven't written for days. Sometimes I try to think that if I ignore this it will all just go away like a bad dream. I convince myself it's not as serious as they say.....it only works for awhile then reality hits me like a cavemans club over the head.

Wcb is sending me to their doc tomorrow. I am terribly worried because I have heard so many bad things about this. I am not going to elaborate or dwell on this subject until afterwards. I have an unreal fear of doctors so will just go off on the subject.

On a good note my physio is going well. We have started working on strengthening my hand. I was actually able to bend my middle finger today lol maybe silly to some reading this that that would be mention worthy...but trust me it really really is! ;) I also have trouble thinking I am stronger than I am and drop things that are too heavy (like a cup or bowl) so we are working on my lift and set down grip as well. This is very promising improvement.

I don't know what I should or should not be doing with all of this and the fact that it's a workplace injury. I so much want to work, I so much want my hand normal, I so much don't want rsd or anything permanent to come from this. I think it has and will but only time will tell. Perhaps someone with experience would know the most likely truth.....wish I did.

I feel like life's in a shitty place, but I really do try to stay positive. It's just so very very hard. I know that compared to some I am very very lucky with the way things have come so far. I know this. I feel bad for whineing when so many others are suffering so much more severly than I am.....Perhaps I need better coping skills to work things out in my mind....Where's Doctor Phil when you need him eh? lol

I am not going to say to much tonight because it will be to many negatives. After my appt I'll fill ya in if there's anything to fill in at that point.

Oh wait one more complaint, not so long ago I bought a car, wich I have not gotten to drive due to this injury. I did this to avoid the bus wich I felt unsafe on both the bus and at stops....well a person was shot at a downtown bus shack about a month ago (if) and now the other night a few people were attacked and robbed on the damn bus.....makes me even more angry that I cannot drive......that will change soon!