The first day in a new world

Well I was up all night, did sleep for about three hours from mid morning to just after noon. Have been suffering from insomnia for about twoo weeks or so.I had physio today; it was my first session where we knew for sure that we are fighting crps. Pretty scary but I am going to do whatever I can do.

I'm still not sure what to think. I haven't yet gotten to the point where I can wrap my mind around this. How do I go from being a single mom of four, a construction worker doing pretty okay for myself; to this? It was just one small broken bone!! I don't think I believe it sometimes. I mean it can't be anything serious right?! But yet, at the same time, there is the pain. The pain to remind me it's not just a broken bone, it's not something simple, but it is very real.

On a lighter note at least physio went okay. My hand always is stiff but it just "feels" less stiff (not really proper english I know lol) It's prickling and aching tonight though but tolerable. I'm very scared at this point. I've always been very independant I mean I have brought myself and my children out of low income hell. Now all of a sudden I often need help, sometimes with the little things and it sucks! Worse I think is the income loss. I first was cranky about light duty taking away my overtime hours.....who knew. The cast came off and it hurt more. Makes no sense.

Now I am on workers compensation. We are okay for now but they have already told me I only have twelve weeks then they will re-asset based on my last two years income. To me that is a threat "get better in 12 weeks or we condemn you and your children to poverty. How is that fair? Two years ago I worked part time at a low income job and my income was supplemented by income assistance. Since that day I have busted my hump to give my kids a better life.I went from that job to bar-tend, making low income but the tips made up for it. Next I was offered a door into the world of construction. I earned three tickets for equipment and we were doing great. Bought my first car three days before I broke my hand. I was proud of where
i was and how I worked so hard to get there. I never even missed a day of work, not even when I moved jobs......Now where will we be? All because I broke a bone? How does this happen and how can they get away with it.

I don't understand any of it...I mean medically I can read and understand, but I just don't "get it". Hopefully time will help with the acceptance. As I learn to deal with the appt's, the treatments and the pain. I never would have thought to find myself here, yet here I am. Thankfully I was lucky enough to have a team of caregivers who were observant and aware so treatment comes early....