Absolute frusteration

Beware the rant that follows!

I don't even know where to begin....I guess I'll start by saying the meds were doing well. There is a definite improvement in my movement. However last night and tonight the pain seems to return....

My 16 year old son is now working my job.Thats cool. I get frustrated thinking of all that I could be doing by working. The overtime pay I no longer get; the fact that I am not moving forward with the raises I could and would be getting. Worst not moving forward in the job itself.... This sucks crap!

My hand still has no grip movement but the doctor wants me to wear a brace and sling and go back to work for a few hours...What??? But in a way I understand we are trying to show my boss and workers comp we are trying. However I cannot even do up my work boots! Most of what's going on here I do not understand. Workers comp I swear is out to drive me insane... I don't get how this is supposed to work out.... guess I'll just wait and see. My doctor did say that if I can't do it, or swell ext. then we will retract the plan I suppose is how one would say it. I'm confused because I thought sdomething like this could make the rsd worse? I dunno. One person says it's nothing another tells me it's huge...all I know for sure is it hurts like hell!!!!

I am so frustereateed. Everything is such a fight. I fight with workers comp, daycare subsidy won't return my calls but are arguing that I don't need daycare.I need to pick up things for the house but without help how the hell do I carry it home? Yet...I can work a couple hours?? Don't get me wrong I want more thasn anything to be back to work and normal. I would just like time to at leasdt have regained movement in my hand first. I am madder than hell...I am fed up. i want to stop the daily fight....how? Is there a way? I am thankful for my children because
I fight for them...if it were just me....

Does this end? Where is my life path going? I no longer feel in control of my own life or even my care. Workers comp has to okay everything, that's dumb if it's needed it's needed and why the hell do thy get to pick my specialists? This is all dumb. My hand hurts tonight again een through the meds...can't imagine how much it would hurt without them...

Another rant tonight is about the folks who say oh you look like your doing well, you'll beat this....like to know where they keep the crystal ball so I could shove it up their ass!!!

I'm done ranting for now...sorry this is just one of these days that are hard to take and venting is needed....