A new beginning?

Well I'm not sure what to think these days, the stress of being on wcb is crazy.....I had an appointment with the neurological pain specialist/a pain clinic appt he basically said that yes I had crps explained it to me a bit, adjusted my meds told me it was likely permanent ext.

Anyway now wcb I don't even know what to do. They want confirmation it's chronic....ummmm now I could be wrong, but is not the main explaination of crps a chronic pain condition???? I'm so concerned about the future here as well. I mean really my restrictions are not to lift more than two pounds ext ext well I am a construction worker...is it just me or is that just not working? I hate my job so much now, now it's not really my job, I've loved this job since day one, it's the restrictions that make it unbearable. I do more than I should just to feel useful and I pay for it dearly. I know I am not a great worker anymore and I only work four hours a day as I cannot handle anymore than that. But it's hard to feel like you are a burden not a help on site. I worked my butt off when I started there, I felt that as a woman the only way I was going to be taken seriously was to be just as tough, if not tougher than the men and it worked I earned the place. Now I feel like a walking poster child of why women should not be on site for crying out loud. Now I know why I am not doing as I would, but the guys around me other than my own team do not and it's hard to take sometimes.

Anyway, that takes me back to the what now.... I am at such a loss in where I should be going for help. The way I see it no one is on my side in this. wcb wants what works for them same as my work. So who helps me figure out what to do??? Anyone know that answer???? If I am going to be this limited in what I can do with life it renders all my tickets null and useless and my welding dreams gone....so now what? I can't even go back to hairstyling....sigh no wonder so many on wcb are depressed where are the answers and the help for injured workers?

On the home front things are going great. I enjoy as much as I can and lean on those close to me when I can't do. I'm learning to ask for help when I need it rather than hurt myself trying to do it myself. I'm trying now to find new things I can do and not focus so much on what I can't, that's a little harder though. I have also started to have panick attacks but control them fairly well with breathing and mental conditioning. In other words taking a minute to calm then purposely changing my thought process of whatever has upset me. Mostly it works out rather well.

This weekend I plan on having wonderful times with family and friends over bbq's, trips to the zoo and whatever else comes up so wish me luck there eh lol. Sometimes I can and others not so much but so far today is a good day at least as far as my attitude goes. I'm sure for alot of you out there suffering from this you will understand how much attitude really plays a role on some things here.

Anyway I am going now to visit with friends here in my home. My hand and arm are tolerable tonight so I am very luck to have a good day and am going to enjoy what's left of it. I hope you all find a few like this still in your lives......it's so very important. :)