Amazing Strength

Well seems I am back at work, more hours than I think I should be though. I have had severe swelling, purple knuckles, and the pain has increased quite a bit. But that's not what this is about.

Tonight my children had a family night at school. It was a supper and fitness thing where you eat then go play with the kids, bowling, jump rope, relay races, you get the idea. Well at the end there was a big finale so to speak with a parachute. Do you remember how much fun those were in gym? lol It was wonderful for the kids and I was having fun to, skipping in a relay race omgosh lol kids do keep you young! ;) But the parachute......I had to sit out. There was no way I could grab hold of that thing and toss it up and down while people all around me pulled on it..... It hit me like a ton of bricks as I watched that this is the first time since my crps diagnosis that I have completly had to be left out of something as a result of this horrid thing..... I wanted to cry it was so hard to watch. I mean it was wonderful to be able to be there and watch but you know. I also couldn't help but wonder as to what the other parents and the teachers were thinking.... bad things no doubt, like I didn't want to participate or what ever other evils went through their unknowing minds.... ouch. A first I'm sure but not likley the last time I will miss....

As hard as this is, I still try to count my blessings as I know things could be and might some day be much worse. I am not in any specific pain treatment yet, still on the waiting list of course.....who knows but I am positive that it would certainly be of some help. Through this all I must say it is the comments left here by people who know and blogs out there on the net from people who understand....that's alot of where my strength comes from. The courage I hear from others with crps is incredible; even if they themselves cannot see it. So thank you to everyone who has left me personally a comment here, and to those who share their stories, without whom I would not be as strong as I try to be.

So to anyone with crps, new or long suffering; I send you all my sincerest love, best wishes and prayers of strength.....Thank you.