Honestly does it ever end?

Well things were looking up as far as workers comp went....lol what was I thinking. I received a letter that made no sense so I called the fair workers comp line thingy..... Well although my worker is doing all she can. It looks like there isn;t much hope.

I am entitled to only a job paying what I was making or would have made at this job. My boss lied and said there were no raises and no advancements so that makes it far less than it's actual potential. Now not to mention the fact that I was registered in welding classes and could not go (noticed I said registered not thinking about it) because of this injury but that means nothing either.... Now the dumb part is if I take a retarted minumum wage job they will make up the difference....to a percentage of course....no potential, no future, just crappy job and crappy future.....but they will make it up. Is it just me? How the hell does that make any sense??? Sending me to school to do something with potential and that would take me right out of wcb, wouldn't that make more sense? I'm not talking about taking a seven year course or anything, but just something short and with potential. Yes it might still happen but I've been told not likley. Geez I hope this is all wrong information and I can get further.

How is it that someone like me who wants so much to work and go forward with my life already is being forced to fight for survival by this wcb, here to help me, lol that's a laugh. I just want to do as I was doing. Fighting hard to get myself and my kids a better life, and winning! Damn.

You know the saddest part of all this, if someone had taken two seconds more of their precious time to properley cap one friggin piece of rebar, none of this would even be taking place because I would have seen it and avoided the trip that started it all. I know this is why it is called an accident but it makes you wonder how one persons skipped step could cause reprocutions that would last so darn long and impact another persons life so much.....think about that the next time you think of skipping a step to make things easier for yourself, or saying those bad hurtful words or whatever small momentary thing it may be....because you just never know who will pay, or for how long.....

hmmmm maybe I should become a workplace safety teacher lol

The other break

Well my broken right hand, hmmm I cannot tell if crps has set in or if it just hurts. I don't know what to think. We didn't reset it because we did not want to cause the crps to spread. So now it's been three weeks, the partial cast is off and they taped my ring finger to my pinky. No exray just a see you in two weeks Omgosh I dont know what to think.

I am going crazy not working. I cannot go back to construction :( and I loved it so much. I just want to work why is that a hard thing to find help with??? I have a few calls to make a few more people to talk to and we shall see.


Anyway. Off to bed, Ill update tomorrow...........oh but ending this on a good note, my beautiful six year old daughter just lost her very first tooth today!! She exitedly awaits the tooth fairy to visit. :)

Off to be a fantasy character I am........ with great pleasure and love. ;)

Just when you think it can't get any worse

Well alot to report but where to start.....

I guess with my rude awakening...I was camping with the kids, feeling real confident about my abilities and becoming my old "normal". Well one afternoon I bent over in my lawn chair and it fell to the left with my little girl sitting right there. I could do nothing to stop myself but had to catch myself so as not to knock over my daughter. I did so with my forearm and jarred my shoulder; caught my non moving pinkie in her chair and could not get up. Thankfully my boyfriend was there to lift me up. I was hurt. My arm could not move from the jarring... I cried like a baby it was both humiliating and horrible for me. All night if I thought of it my eyes welled up. It was like an eye opener to me.... I guess this is real and my life really has changed.... It's a hard reality to bite off...

Next.... I was in my kitchen tripped on my dog, tried to miss the cat, and my left hand cannot catch me, so my right did..... and broke! Turns out it needed to be reset but they will not for fear of the crps. So I am only in a splint. This they are taking off early so that I can move my hand sooner. Makes sense treatment option wise but sucks that I will have another mishapen hand as a result of the crps. :(

Now with my physio on my left hand....we have called it platoed there is no more for it....The loss of muscle and movement, the pain, they are allmanent.....How does one understand that? I am disabled by a disease that I cannoy feel disabled from....does that make sense to anyone?

Well I only hope and pray I can find new employment in a field I can enjoy, advance in and give my kids the life they deserve.....